“It’s a terrible thing to see and have no vision.”
Helen Keller
The future is 20/20 for people with vision issues, specifically for people with RP disease. I’m especially happy for those who have been living their life with RP from a young age. They’ll likely be able to live their days with an abundance of independence like I did in my early years. Personal freedoms. This possibility makes me smile 😊.
In the meantime, there is an unmistakable reality associated with RP. It exists and it is degenerative. I have slightly less than 10% peripheral vision. My senses have become hyper-sensitive to stimuli. RP has effectively slowed me down, training me to be still.
This is my reality, has been for the past thirty plus years living with the progressive breakdown and deterioration of my retina. Car keys no longer in my pocket, given up age 48 while principal of an elementary school in Fresno, California. I have transformed mentally, emotionally in conjunction with my loss of vision. How I lived, thought, and the independence I sought throughout my young life has been greatly stirred and shaken.
This is the reason I’ve chosen to write about my RP reality in the first place. Eye sight is very mental, not just a physical science. Being able to see or not see is less of an issue for me. Sure, I’d love to see like I once did but I also would like to have the metabolism I had as a wee lad. That’s just not going to happen. Some things simply change, slower for some; faster for others. I’ve come to accept this reality. In fact, it comforts me, often thanking God how RP has changed my mind, attitude, and lifestyle.
I’d love to have artificial retinas restoring my sight. My appreciation for wide angle vision, driving a car, and walking through a store without knocking over a poor little child would be extraordinary. Expanded independence would be awesome. Yet, in my lifetime, if I’m not able to revive my sight, I’ll be ok. My sight or lack of sight will not define me. I’ve learned to adapt and be content.
I’m ok with RP.
Occasionally, what I’m not ok with is the baggage that comes with it. This is what has caused my growing impatience, creating an atmosphere of confusion, anxiety and agitation at times. It’s what confused me so much in my earlier RP years. I was under the assumption that the lack of vision would be my main issue. Get a cane. Learn to navigate. Not so, not so at all. It was the stuff between my ears, not behind my eyes, that was knocking me off balance.
Pissing me off!!
Note: Next post is titled, ‘Between the Ears’ addressing the mental disconnect in thought and space. It changes a person.
Take care, my friend 👍
