If I Needed You …
Annie and I arrived in Morro Bay yesterday afternoon entering through a quaint town called Atascadero off Highway 101 which stretches from lower California north along Pacific Ocean’s coast through Oregon and Washington states, a 1,500 mile road trip adventure. We descended 17 miles from temperatures rising over 100 arid degrees Fahrenheit to 64 (17.8 degrees Celsius) overcast delicious degrees. It is our favorite stretch of road ever travelled, within minutes turning off the AC, pulling a hoodie over my head, Dassa’s paw pressing on the back rear window allowing a cool breeze to enter our vehicle as ‘the wife’ drives a little too fast around the curves 😱 anticipating our destination.
After setting up our 30′ Half-ton Keystone Cougar trailer which we store in Morro Dunes RV Park, Dassa and I stroll from the walking bridge to the beach front, Morro Rock just left of our view. ‘If I Needed You’ by Townes Van Zandt shuffles through my air pod. Whatever my mood, emotional state, I melt into an overwhelming calm. The simplicity and human vulnerability of this song has a hi-jacking effect.
My mind slung back a few years when I was obsessed with an Amazon Prime dark, dark comedy series titled, ‘Patriot’. Absolutely obsessed over it. The lead character, John Tavner played by Michael Dorman, is an American non-official cover Intelligence Officer hired by his dad, Terry O’Quinn as Tom Tavner, who happens to be the CIA Director. John’s dad continually puts John in compromising, precarious roles ultimately leading John to go undercover as a Milwaukee pipefitter expert in order to keep nuclear arms out of the hands of a potential Iranian government leader. All this time, John is sliding further down a funnel becoming a tormented psychological pretzel.
After John’s dad informs him of the plan to buy off the Iranian election, they sit together at night in the living room each with a guitar on their lap, relaxed. John’s wife and brother, a Congressman, make their way into the room to listen as they sing the first two verses of Townes Van Zandt’s song, ‘If I Needed You’; the perfect song to convey the nuanced love, loyalty, and tension between father and son. Imagine, you love your dad and seek his approval. Your dad is distant enough to have you in his pocket, caring, encouraging, aloof, and all about CIA missions. So, what is most important, son, mission, or country? You become curious!
Dad sings the first verse: ‘Well, if I needed you, would you come to me? Would you come to me and ease my pain? If you needed me, I would come to you. I’d swim the seas for to ease your pain.‘
John follows with the second verse: ‘In the night forlorn ah the morning’s born, And the morning shines with the lights of love’ then Tom finishes off the verse, ‘You will miss sunrise if you close your eyes, and that would break my heart in two.’
Together they repeat the first two lines of verse 1: ‘If I needed you, would you come to me? Would you come to me and ease my pain?’
Never have lyrics portrayed such a spot-on mysterious message. You wonder, will the son betray his father? Will dad put the mission above his son’s welfare? This is when I was first introduced to the song and why it captivated my heart and mind with such raw sentimentality, leading me down the rabbit hole of researching who wrote this lovely song in the first place.
Townes Van Zandt was a travelling troubadour, considered one of America’s greatest writer’s of song, primarily between 1968-73. He was a Texan at heart, beginning his writing journey in high school when learning of Shakespeare, identified as an intellectual genius and possibly bi-polar. After seeing Elvis Presley on the Ed Sullivan Show, he convinced his dad to buy him his first guitar which lead him down a path he could not have planned on paper, choosing his guitar and lyrics over prelaw.
Townes wrote hundreds of songs such as, ‘For the Sake of a Song’ and ‘Pancho and Lefty’ made popular by Merle Haggard and Willie Nelson’s duet. ‘If I Needed You’ was ranked his 5th best song ever written. But, to me, well, it’s number one. It came to Townes in a dream in the early 1970’s while sleeping in a couple’s teeny house in Nashville with a notepad by his mattress on the floor. He woke in the middle of the night to record it, then put it to music later that morning.
In a 1993 interview Townes said, “‘If I Needed You’ was the only song I ever wrote in my sleep … All three of us had the flu. We were getting a bottle of codeine cough syrup each day and splitting it three ways … Sleep was saturated with these technicolor dreams, vivid dreams that you can imagine.” The mystery of the song’s origination is equally as intriguing as Tom and John Tavner’s version in ‘The Patriot.’.
I guess it is the heart warming, endearing simple lyrics and acoustic rhythm that stops me cold, putting me in a lull, deeply reflective trance. It never gets old!
‘Patriot’ Writer/Director Steven Conrad on The Writer’s Panel with Ben Blacker
Steve Conrad accepted an interview in November of 2018 before season 2 of ‘Patriot’. He began by saying people tell each other to ‘check out’ a show. Then, we do. Often, it is not the initial release that dictate a show’s success. It happens over time as people share their experiences with each other. This was true with me as I first was told of ‘Patriot’ in about 2021, over five years since its release.
Funny, I thought of ‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’ of 1975. It had been cancelled in multiple cities when first released. With some time, creative marketing, and midnight movie airings it became the longest running release in history. It had a cult following. Immediate limited public interest doesn’t mean permanent failure. In fact, it’s ridiculous. This has been true of ‘Patriot’ as new passioned fans appear weekly.
Steve said, “The deeper we get into episodes, the deeper the strain on the character because he has to keep going as obstacles mount and his coping mechanisms start to fall by the wayside.” … the story continues to unravel as tension builds. Suspense was supreme in all the writer’s minds. If it was lacking then that piece would not be included. No laughs were written into the script for a laugh, the characters brought out whatever was going to be revealed.
A uniquely designed spy thriller, Steve contrasts the lead character in John Tavner with most common lead spy characters. John is devoted to his wife, not a womanizer, therefore making himself more vulnerable. Also, most spies have gadgets, John has none. This is all ultimately brought into the planning of the series before the ending of the series has been confirmed. Steve said everybody involved in the evolution of ‘Patriot’ has been thinking of hours one or two building to hours eight or nine of the series so the tension and intrigue continues to build. It is his promise to the viewer that the entire series will be fulfilled.
Some simple principles are to not start writing until the ending is known and to not continue to write past the ending. Spend time making the show structurally sound. Every character is meaningful. And, the songs are a significant nuance to maintain purpose and intention. Songs have a way of conveying an honesty, a tone about the invention of a character and what is in their mind.
Great commentary. Something dynamic occurred to me when comparing ‘If I Needed You’ with ‘Patriot’. Both are simplistic; but enormously intriguing. Townes Van Zandt had an unknowing inspiration when writing his song as did Steve Conrad holding loosely to the evolution of ‘Patriot’ before it was finally written. Two men willing to explore possibility with a sense of vision and uniqueness, not compatibility and likeness. Willing to be different. I like that.
Take care, my friend 👍
