You have to do the best with what God gave you.” Mrs. Gump
The movie ‘Forrest Gump’ is one of the most quoted movies of all time. “Mama always said you can tell a lot about a person by their shoes, where they’re going, where they’ve been.” Forrest famously spoke these words to a stranger reading a People magazine while sitting on a park bench. Considering this quote, each morning … choose wisely. Slip on the right shoes that will take you where you need to go.
“That’s all I have to say about that.”
Take a Minute: … Looking at Gump’s life, Dan realizes that he too has a choice … Instead of situations controlling him, he could start putting efforts to control the experience from those situations. This attitude helped him to enjoy even the most challenging situation.
How we react to failures defines us.
Dec 4, 2017, From the book, ‘Business and Life Lessons From the Movies’. Excerpt from ‘The Lessons Of ‘Growth Mindset’ and the ‘Forrest Gump’ Movie’, by Shah Mohammed
Bull in a China Shop
On my first day as principal, I was welcomed by Mrs. Lumen with a decadent white chocolate candy apple. She asked to speak with me, so I invited her into my office, an office I had not yet spent an hour in. This mother proceeded to tell me she was a defender of all children; a ‘bull in a China shop’. I stopped her midway through her narrative, introduced myself, and asked her name. Then, I proceeded to let her know that there is no need to be a ‘bull in a China shop’, just come talk with me and we can work through any problem together.
She left, apparently appeased or so I thought. The following four months she relentlessly questioned my decisions and did her best to undermine my role privately, and publicly. She wanted to make decisions for the school without the authority, training, or responsibility to do so. And never were her children involved in her concerns. In fact, I had taken care of a couple of situations involving her youngest child in a thoughtful, caring manner.
Then, late one day, I get a call. I get a call from Mrs. Lumen. I was finishing my fourth month as principal. She proceeds to tell me how distraught she is with a decision I recently made. How I should manage the school procedures. How a lunch responsibility center is not necessary, nor humane. Yet, it had no direct bearing on her children. She simply wanted to control my decision-making from her point of view.
Absolutely over the top. I listened, then I listened some more until it was all simply too much. I asked her if I could be very honest with her. She gave me permission. So, I told her the truth, with kindness, that she does not have a full understanding of the school or the needs of students and the teachers from my perspective and responsibility. I suggested that she limit her ‘bull in a China shop’ antics. It was unnecessary.
Upon hearing this she became emotional, sharing that she would soon be seeing a doctor with some potential life-threatening news and that I did not understand. She handed the phone to her husband to finish the conversation. Before he began to speak, I said, “First, I am truly sorry to hear about the potential news of your wife’s health. I sincerely mean it. Nothing is more important on this earth right now in your life than the health and welfare of your wife. Let me know if I can be of any support. But, in the meantime I suggest that you hang up on me and take care of the priority in your life, your dear wife. What I am doing at school is the least of her worries, or yours.”
He said, “My wife is going through a difficult time. She means well.”
“There is no doubt I think she means well,” I said, “I wish her well, but it is unnecessary for her to fill her mind with concern over my role and responsibilities. That’s my job, my worry. I am in good hands. She needs you, not me.”
I was later informed that her test results were negative. She was in good health. The following school year after summer vacation days into the school year, I was approached early one morning on the playground by Mrs. Lumen. Some students were around me having a conversation, so I excused them not knowing how our conversation would go.
“Good morning, Mrs. Lumen. How can I help you?” I asked.
“Mr. Teevens,” she said, “I want to apologize. I realize that I have been overly controlling since you arrived. Honestly, how I treat my husband I have been treating you. I am sincerely sorry!”
I was not expecting those words to come out of her mouth that morning. I said, “Mrs. Lumen, thank you for your honesty. I truly appreciate it. I fully accept your apology. In fact, now that we are having this discussion, I am grateful. I am grateful we went through this ordeal so we could have this precious moment. It gives me such pleasure, and it gives me such respect for you allowing me to know you as you really are.”
As time went by Mrs. Lumen became a great advocate, person I could count on. A transparent voice. No politics. No special favors. Simply good honest conversation and mutual support. As it should be.
Take care, my friend 👍
